A few nights ago I enjoyed a delicious meal at Regards To Edith in the West Loop. I met three second cousins and the four of us caught up over the great atmosphere and food. The conversation flowed from general life updates to politics to fashion to other great restaurants and everything and anything in between. During my drive home I felt energized and it dawned on me that the energy of the night stayed positive throughout the meal. Even if someone vented or told a story, it was more to update the others and not to slander anyone. We were there to support one another, not to take others down in the process.
The beauty of positive relationships cannot be overstated. Negative energy is a life sucker, it can travel at the speed of light and spread like wildfire. I once read somewhere that it takes five positive affirmations to offset one negative statement. Bad stuff lingers and often the good gets overshadowed. Negativity is also one of those things that’s easy to slip into if you’re not careful. It takes effort to not participate, especially if its someone you’ve known for a long time.
“Rid your circle of negative people” is an axiom I’ve read but it’s not realistic. There are Negative Nancies that simply cannot be avoided - whether its a family function, workplace environment, or neighborhood event. A better saying is “Practice the art of detachment.” In my limited time on Earth, I’ve come to realize that every negative person is reflecting their negative insides. Gossip, passive aggressiveness, judgmental attitudes, extreme competitiveness, and jealousy are all a reflection of a bad internal environment. I mean, if you’re really ok with yourself on the inside and ok with your life and grateful, why be a shitty person? I’ve never met someone ok with themselves that spewed negativity. It’s the mother of all red flags.
Even with my own self, ten years ago I was in a bad emotional state after my husband died and it was reflected in my behavior. I was not positive about anything. My life had been flipped upside down and I was furious with the universe and everyone around me. As I got out of the hole and started the healing process, my anger slowly dissipated. I also started paying attention to the energy of the people I surrounded myself with and how it affected my energy. I had to let go of certain relationships that were downright toxic and rebuild my circle of friends. As difficult as those times were, I feel supported now in ways I hadn’t before.
Starting my thirties as an emotional amoeba sucked but I feel like I’m finally awake and in tune with what I want to put out into the world and the energy I surround myself with. Do I still occasionally get sucked into negative black holes? Yes. Do I enjoy it? No! Am I proud of myself when I let an asshole get the best of me? Nope. Am I getting better at recognizing someone’s negativity as a sopping wet pile of personal dissatisfaction? Yup. Is detachment totally awesome? Yeaaaahhh! Am I trying to be a kinder, more positive person overall? Hell yes. This adulting stuff is hard work. That’s why when the really good, happy, positive stuff happens like it did the other night, I truly appreciate it.